Among the 3 siblings, the 3 year old was the only survivor of the car accident over the long weekend. The other two, one 2 year old and one 6 year old died instantly. Her mum was still receiving treatment in hospital. She had a severe fracture in her spine, which hopefully can be fixed by operation. Some of the pain-killers were giving her itch. Until now, she probably doesn't know what has happened.

 

With the "halo" on her head that keeps her head and spine in place, she cried. " I wanna go home. I wanna go home. I want mami. I want to go. I want to DIE." She was angry, frustrated, hurt, wounded, confused, terrified.....I couldn't continue on my work anymore. I felt so much pain in my heart as if it was penetrated by a sharp knife. I started to cry. I couldn't bear to stay there yet I wanted so much to be there for her.

 

People gotta learn to take more responsibility of their decisions. What's the use of a "sorry" when damage has already been made? Can you reverse it? What if that's concerning someone's life? There's something I really hate to see, that is when children are hurt because of the decisions made by adults. A moment of over-confidence in driving can cause lives. (That's why I'm so against speeding!!) Child abuse and family breakups leave permanent wounds in children. These wounds can only be healed by the love of God. I was once a victim but praise God for He has healed and restored me. But what about others? There are still people hurting. If only the adults could think twice before they act.

 

Then I heard about another news when I got home...father put his 2 month old baby in the microwave for 20 sec and the baby is now suffering from severe burns!!! That's madness. Outrageous!!

 

 

 

"I'd be worried if I don't have any testimony about God to share", someone once commented that.

 

Yep, I was once worried not too long ago. I realized how dangerously dry I was that I didn't even have any testimony to share. I realized I wasn't in touch with Him. But till yesterday.......In the midst of my frustration, hurts and confusion, God led me to read the devotion given to me a present not too long ago. The title was " do not forget your first love" It's a devotion written by a mother, hoping ot give wisdom and insights to the alike. She said, "....to love God more than your children and spouse" I know where I've gone wrong, I've loved my child more than God by worrying more about the Elise issues than coming to rest in His presence. I repented of my wrong attitudes and thoughts and committed to have Him in the centre of my life again. Wow, what a big difference! I've got the JOY back!!

 

 

 

 

That was the quietest new year's eve ever. I did the count down lying on my bed with the little one sleeping soundly next to me. It wasn't bad at all coz that allowed me to have some quiet moments to listen to Him.

Some of the things that I hope and pray to accomplish in 2008. I believe there're more to come as He reveals His will to me progressively.

 

1. Minister to the group of special needs ( don't know what that is yet)

2. Rekindle my passion for the G.C. To support church planting with conviction.

3. .........(not disclosing at the moment)

4. Better attitudes!

 

Talking about better attitudes, man, that's challenging and it's never been so challenging ever since I became a mum. :) Just a few days ago, I think I got the rhema word when I was pondering over what I read in Acts. "REJOICE OVER HIS SOVEREIGN WILL" It's easy to rejoice when things are working well. Will I rejoice at all times? Even when situations are seemingly bad, He is sovereign over them. Sometimes a sweet spirit doesn't come easy.  Maybe it's the bitterness that makes one appreciate sweetness....what am I talking about?! "BLOOMING IN AND OUT OF SEASONS" Where have my convictions gone? I feel that God's bringing me to the next phase of spiritual maturity. I'm yet to see the breakthrough, but before I can see it, I feel as if I'm.....I can't even find ways to describe it....stuck? going round in circle? losing momentum? blur? Simply tired?

 

First day of 2008 has already brought many testings in preparation for what is to come. As I need to wake up every few hours at night to feed, I tend to dream more and usually I'll have different dreams in a night. The 2 dreams I had last night weren't great at all. They'd affected me until mid-day. In a way they reflected my worries. I woke up feeling tired, as usual, with aches all over. Elise was fine I believe, (I just assumed that was the amount of crying she has during the day. I just don't get to see it as I'm at work) But it just struck me again that it's a "ONE step forward, TWO steps backward" thing with babies...sleeping issues and feeding battles are like good friends that have agreed to take their turn to knock persistently on the door of impatience till she appears. BUT, LOVE IS PATIENCE and a mother should be able to unconditionally love by having unlimited patience. :) Finally, I resorted to cool down with a cup of Cookies N Cream ice cream :)

 

Yah...what kind of attitudes did I have today? It was a fight between emotions and mind. Pressure and stress are inevitalbe, but a sound mind and sweet spirit are my choice. PERSEVERE Lil!! God help me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just read Ps Dinah's testimony, "Serving as a wife, mum and pastor". It's come as an encouragement as well as a reminder for me to keep the right focus. I believe this is what God wants me to know and to grow in convictions in these areas. Just a few days ago, in the midst of my frustration I chatted with God. I told Him how I felt and my confusions about the balance among the roles I carry; a wife, mum, leader, and to add one more a full-time pharmacist soon to resume. God did encourage me that it wasn't about those roles, but all He desires from me was that I'll continue to grow as a Christ follower, His disciple. And how do I grow? I do that in the midst of all these!

 

Sometimes it's like a battle of my mind in some decision making trying to balance all these roles/responsibilities. I quote from Ps. Dinah "On the other hand, as a Kingdom-centred mom, I have to learn the delicate balance of meeting the needs of the young child(ren) and yet not be dictated by them nor use the kid(s) as an excuse to serve any less" It is indeed a delicate balance. what I've found helpful is keeping a sound mind so that I'm clear about God's desires in the midst of men's expectation (including mine). I'm still learning and there're heaps to learn!!

 

Here are 2 points that I've become more convicted/convinced about parenting:

1. Babies are human!!! They need our time, dedicated care and love. Parenting is more than a task to fulfill, a routine to go by. We may make mistakes as parents, but we still want to minmize the mistakes we make on these precious lives.

2. Every baby is different. I'll learn from other parents but I should not compare their babies with mine. When I get this right, I'll be able to nurture by my mother's instinct and the Holy Spirit.

3. There's no right or wrong in sleep training, whether it's the attachment parenting style or the let them cry it out style. I make the decision based on my instinct about my babe. Taking the attachment parenting style doesn't mean you're weak or too soft that you'll spoil the baby, neither does letting them cry it out style mean that you're tough and a strong mum. I do what I believe in. You may wonder what I've chosen. Well I still chose to sleep train Elise by modifying the different ways to suit her. THis is my stand, " for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The "High-Need" characteristics are:

INTENSE (cry more, demand immediate responses, feed/nurse voraciously), she cried for half an hour before she falls asleep everyday. Crying has become part of her routine. You should have seen the mid-wife's face when she saw her fighting at feeding time. "she's got short fuse" was her comment 

HYPERACTIVE (high energy level-not the disorder), thank God that's not ADD haha. Her stretches are "huge" and she stretches for a loonnnnnng time.

DRAINING (use up lots of parents' energy, exhausting to parent), YEP!

FEEDS FREQUENTLY (especially applicable to babies and nursing), the feeding every 3 hour routine sometimes don't work for her.

DEMANDING (of parents and their energy), that was what I said from day 1.

AWAKENS FREQUENTLY (needs less sleep, especially during the day), she sleeps around 40 minutes in good days.

UNSATISFIED (no matter what you do, it doesn't improve their fussiness), i've tried all the soothing method. It's no point to stick to one. Just be creative!

UNPREDICTABLE (including extreme mood swings), if you upset her in the morning, she'll be upset for the rest of the day

SUPERSENSITIVE (keenly aware of their environment, quickly overstimulated), she stares at everything at all times.

UNABLE TO PUT DOWN (especially when babies), absolutely!

UNCUDDLY (touch is overstimulating, or hates to be confined, but is cuddly), can't swaddle her, unless i use tapes..nah just kidding

NOT A SELF-SOOTHER (bonds to people, not objects), dummies don't work on her

SEPARATION-SENSITIVE ("velcro baby", doesn't like new people/places). err.....not sure yet

But the good news is, spirited babies are above average babies that require above average care from parents...and if nurtured well, they will grow up to be very creative, strong leaders and smart!! Sounds like Chol-Mel??? Wonder where she got it from?

 

 

 

I WISH I KNEW HOW HARD IT WOULD BE ...........

 

Not that I wouldn't want to give birth if I knew the challenges of motherhood. But if I knew the DETAILS of the challenges while I was pregnant, I'm sure I'll be more prepared! So mothers-to-be, get to know as much as you can but still expect the unexpected!!

 

The unexpected:

1. I knew I won't have much sleep once the babe's born, but I didn't QUANTIFY it, so I was not prepared, thus exhausted after the 1st 3 days. To quantify it, the cycle of feeding to changing diaper to putting her to sleep then back to feeding repeats every 3 hours 24 hours a day. ANd within each 3 hour cycle, only 1-2 hours was for her and me to sleep.

 

2. I thought I'd be pretty alright and Baby Blues weren't for me, but I was wrong. The lack of sleep, quick and unprepared transition from labour to motherhood, thoughts of "I don't know what to do and how to do it", changing status from a almost full time shepherd and leader to a full time stay-at-home mum. These just overloaded me. Afterall, I'm human and I need to release my emotions so...hahah the 1st few days I found myself easily teared. Apparently that's caused by the hormonal changes in the body too. Oh well, just like what wen an has always said, "you're melancholic!"

 

3. It's not easy to train the little babe to sleep on her own, worse still, I (and the others at home) have unknowingly created bad sleeping habits for her. Now she doesn't go to sleep without either someone rocking her or ME sleeping next to her...:((( So my advise is, learn how to train and start training on day 1. But the good news is it's never to late to start training her and she's now only 3 weeks so it should be ok. I pray for God to grant us success when we start the training next week....please intercede for us!!! please please~~ for the sake of the Kingdom of God. hahaha!!!

 

So, what really helps?

1. Stay focus on both God and the reality! God has been my best comforter ever since. He gave me the best assurance when I doubted my ability. He gave me peace when I was up alone in the middle of the night. He reminds me of the joy being a mother, just like the joy the Creator has when He sees His creations. And the reality is, these are all what the baby needs at this time and I can choose to be the best and be whole-hearted at it.

 

2. It's also good to have someone to talk and to cry to and haha...sorry wen an, you're the chosen one!

 

3. Depending on your personality, you might be happy to just stay at home 24/7 for the 1st month. But for me, I need to go out. What I miss the most was Christian fellowship so it was such a errr.....relief/release...I don't know..... to be able to go to church last Sun. I pray that I'll be able to take Elise there tomorrow as well.

 

OK..now for all of you that have just read this blog, just to affirm you that I'm fine and happy!!! hahaha. Motherhood is God's gift and you can enjoy it more when you're more prepared, spiritually, physically and mentally:)))

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm back to blogging!! Past 2 months have certainly been eventful and exciting with my last month of pregnancy, labour and the beginning of a new life! Umm....where to start? Labour? or the new mum!

 

I never knew my pain threshold was fairly high and my stamina too. I delivered babe at 1am on sat but guess what, I was already in early labour on Tue afternoon. I'd had contraction pain for 3 days before the hospital agreed for me to go in. The thing is, even when I went to hospital on Friday, it was because we insisted to have it checked out. ( my contraction was still 1 in 7-8 minutes, hospital only admits you when it's 1 in 3 minutes. But when they checked me, to their surprise, I was already 6cm dilated!. * active labour starts when it's 4cm dilated) well, here I come to the delivery suite! Some advice I'd give to the mums to be are:

 

1. make sure you have enough exercise (walking is the best). start now cos you'll need the physical fitness for contraction and the pushing bit. *Disclaimer: not too much though or babe might come too early!!

 

2. Trust in God all the times, pray unceasingly. This is what got me through the 3 sleepless night where I woke up every 10 minutes because of the contraction pain.

 

3. Pray for a competent and assuring mid-wife. I reckon God's blessed me with such a great mid-wife. With her guidance and constant assurance, the delivery was, to me at least bearable. It took 40 minutes for the last phase, the pushing bit! And the mid-wife at the earlier shift was so experienced that I was able to make informed decision on what pain-relief to use. so afterall, I had no epidural, no C-section, only a minor tear.  I prayed for smooth labour so that I'll recover fast. God answered my prayer as I was allowed to be discharged after ONE day!!

 

4. This is not really an advice, but a point to make: IT"S SOOOOO IMPORTANT to have a good support person during the labour and that's none other than my hubby! He was basically on-call since wed, running to me every 10 minutes or so to massage my back whenever the contraction came. can't do without you!!!

 

Alright, I'll update shortly on what it's like being a new mother...too much to say here..as I'm still figuiring and sorting it out myself :)

 

 

 

I've had a long day, filling up people's requests, running around doing things seemingly futile. People just want to meet their own agenda. "Who cares how I feel. No one cares to consider if they can be of help rather than a pain." by 5pm, I'm exhausted, drained, speechless..." I've had enough today. Don't wanna bother about anything else.."

 

Miscommunication, misunderstanding, mis-judgement, mis-calculation and whatever else that's been missed....aren't they the ones that are supposed to know what to do, what to say, what they're SUPPOSED to do?? Can't they just work with it? Only if they did the right thing in the right time....How frustrating.....

 

I'm tired and sleepy, I wish you could just  hurry up!

 

I don't like how you said it...(though i know you have no bad intention)...but I just don't like the way you said it. You're ALWAYS like this...2 years ago, 2 months ago, 2 days ago, 2 minutes ago...I somehow remember it all. See, that's you...you're such a....err...I don't know..I AM NOT HAPPY.

 

I accept your comments, but but but....i still think I'm right...actually, i don't agree with you...what's wrong with my way. Who are you to tell me what I should do?

 

Why are you treating her better than me? You never correct her when she did that? Why are you so strict with me? Why can't I be like one of them?

 

why should I submit to you. Unless you prove yourself capable (like me)...you're not good enough.

 

They only want me to do things, only call me when they need me to do things for them. They don't care......they're superficial.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear God, Make us alert so that we may guard our hearts. In Jesus Name we bind all the negative thoughts about our fellow brothers and sisters, the leaders, and the church. Let not any of us fall into Satan's divisive schemes. Amen!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The past 2 weeks have been so interesting. Sickness, Healing Conference, sleepless nights x 7, moving and on top of all that, approaching 30 weeks in pregnancy!

 

I started having a persistent dry cough just the day before the Healing Conference. I was thinking, "wow, I could experience God's healing personally. Not a bad idea" I got prayed for by Ps during the conference. Did God heal me? No. My cough persisted and in fact it got worse in the next few days. I was woken up every 15-30 minutes by the cough every night for 7 days in a row. (my poor husband woke up just as I did, but the only good thing was that he fell back to sleep much faster than I could). What's Lillian talking about? Is she giving GLORY to GOD???

 

Yes, I want to give all GLORY to God. I grew closer to Him and my faith has been refined in the past 2 weeks.

 

Lessons and experiences gained during the 2 weeks.

1. God showed me that it's more fulfilling to be filled by His love than having a "healthy" body. I mentioned that I was prayed for by Ps. That was such a sweet presence of God as he laid his hand on me. Tears started to flow down my cheek. that was such a familiar touch, the gentle and rich touch from my heavenly Father. It really doesn't matter whether I can be healed as long as I can dwell in His loving presence. What good is it to have a good and proper physical body but yet the soul is empty.

 

2. God can use anyone, the ordinary people.

In Friday life group following the healing conference. A couple of the foundation people shared that they wanted to believe God that they could be used in the area of healing. Well, I thought I would be the best person they can exercise their faith on. I told them (even half-jokingly) that maybe the reason God didn't heal me on Sunday was that He was leaving this job to them. When the 10 of them stretched out their hands and started praying for me, I just had the faith in my heart too that God is doing a miracle. And praise the Lord on that night I slept through till morning without having to wake up due to the cough. My husband was amazed at that too. I was thinking about this later on and believed that the reason God has delayed the healing was so that those that are younger in faith may get to experience God's power moving through them and thus, grow in their faith in God. As for me, I don't mind playing a part in it :))

 

 

Am I too tough? Am I demanding too much from people? Sincerely I do not think so. But if you ask me whether I often set higher standard? "yes" is my answer. But I only set a higher standard in upholding what I believe to be God's principles as for other things in life, perfectionism is not for me.  This is my convictions, to love God with all our heart, mind and strength and to obey Him to our upmost. Anything less than the best is not for Him, not worthy of His name, not worthy of what we've been called for!!

 

And this is not only for my sake, not only because I'm convicted, this is so that we can be strong and biblical. Strong and biblical disciples do not serve God based on convenience or what seems right to oneself. Strong and biblical disciples dare to make tough decisions to the extent of costing one's own comfort, pride and intellect. When they learn to make tough decisions in God, though the circumstances may become more challenging and difficult, true strength and characters will grow as they walk through God's refining process. These are the ones that are truely STRONG and have faith that is UNSHAKABLE!!

 

I am in no way imposing this "standard" on people. That has never been my intention. The only things that compel me to explain, to state my stand and to explain again without compromising in any way are His and my love for you ,and my real concern of you becoming STRONG in the Lord. I see the need and the call for all of us to take our walk seriously.  I'd rather be misunderstood or judged because of the correction than seeing people remaining weak and fall away because they could not take the trials or stand up under temptations.

 

My committment to God and people in discipleship is NOT to make them feel happy so that I may be the "nice" leader that everybody likes. My committment to God and people is that by His grace, I will do my best in discipling and guiding so that we all will develop strong and biblical convictions and characters that will last our life time and through the harshest challenges.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I heard this song on the radio about 5 years ago. I was quite impressed that someone would write a song on "unequally yoked" relationship. I finally found the lyrics today...let me know if you wanna listen to it.

 

Apart from the physical changes of pregnancy, I'm slowly experiencing more and more of the inner changes God is doing in my life right now during pregnancy. I've come to realize there's so much depth in my feelings, understanding and comprehension of the process and also, the aspect of God the creator.

 

Sacrficial and unconditional love

There's a ever deepening bond between the baby and I. The joy and anticipation of a new life cover all limitations and sufferings brought by pregnancy. I didn't think I was a baby person, well at least i was rarely eager to hold a baby. But now I just feel so ready to nurse and care for the unborn child. I understand how God feels now, His love for His creation. His love is sacrificial and unconditional, and is so strong that covers all limitations, pain and even sin.

 

Hearing His voice in the midst of others

I've heard many horror stories about pregnancy e.g. miscarriage, stillbirths etc,  and comments which I believed where said with good intentions. These are some of them: " you need to gain more weight. Are you eating?"  (of course I am, I'm trying to gain weight) " You need to take at least 6 months off after giving birth. It's good for the baby." (our circumstances are different) "hmmm...let me give an educational guess...it's 75% girl (it's still a guess, isn't it..btw..I don't mind whether it's a boy or girl. The baby is a gift from the Lord and I gladly receive it).  All these comments seem to be contrary to what I believe of what God's spoken to me.  And it's just interesting of how God has allowed all these comments to come in the midst of His voice.  But deep in my heart, I know that I can trust Him for whatever will happen. He's already asked me to give my life to serving Him as He takes care of the day to day matters. I have a strong sense that I will hear more of such comments and even be in situations that don't seem to work, but He's given me the assurance that what He will do is far greater that what I can see now.

 

 

 

 

 

God, You know me intimately. You know every thoughts that are in my mind. Thoughts that I didn't dare to say it out as prayers to You, but You answered all of them with such gentleness and assurance.

 

I questioned myself in my intention to love and care for people, You assured me by saying, "you care so much for others..."

I questioned myself of setting too high a standard, You assured me by saying, " you'll be a strong moral centre"

I questioned myself in whether I had the shepherd's heart, You assured me by saying, "the heart of shepherdress shall grow and grow and grow within you." 

I questioned whether we can make it when the little one comes, You said, " don't worry about the day to day stuff, the circumstance. God will take care of all of that."

 

 

Prof passed away on Friday morning.

 

I didn't know he was going so soon. I thought he was recovering. I thought he could at least live for a few months.

 

2 weeks ago, I saw him on the wheelchair, coming out from the hospital lift. I'll always remember the scene. As I asked him, "how are you?" ...the all-along positive and happy prof gave a firm reply, "Not too good." As he got wheeled away, he looked back and whispered, "will talk to you more."

 

I never got to talk to him more.

 

I had planned to visit him on the ward. I had planned to pray for him...but all these were only plans, never realised. I think busyness was just an excuse. The real reason is...i'd forgotten about it. I'd become complacent, thinking that there will always be another day. Just asking colleagues about how he is is not enough.

 

God, I'm sorry that I didn't respond to you. I need your help. Help me not to fall into complacency in reaching out again.

 

 

 

Which 40 years am I in now??

 

Lying on the sofa, thinking about the people at the day trip and that I can't be there...that was frustrating! How long more do I need to feel this way? 2 weeks or 6 months?

 

The little book "hugs for women" caught my eye and I thought that was what I needed, some comfort from the Lord. I needed to hear His voice that gives me strength. I turned to the chapter titled "You are capable" ( That tells you how incapable I was feeling).

 

"It seems too adventurous perhaps, but God is able.

I have no one save the Holy Ghost to rely upon.

My weak health and lack of ability seem to deny me success, (...that was sooooooo true)

but when I am weak, God is strong.

Depending upon Him alone, I go forward... though my eyes are wet with tears, I must go forward.

O Lord, fill me with the Holy Ghost.

Give me power to move the people. Amen (x3 from me)"

 

Lord, you know how much I desire You

How desperate I want to hear your voice

Let nothing hinder me from coming to You

Not my health nor my ability

 

Yet this is overwhelming

to seemingly not be able to do anything

but is it all about doing

In my heart I know it not

 

I could go on like this no more

without the Holy Spirit filling me

What is ministry if I can't minister

How can I minister if I have not been ministered by You

 

There is only one way to look

To fix my eyes on You, my Lord

And it will become less overwhelming

As I rejoice in You who aids me in overcoming

 

 

S says:

hey there

S says:

why Heb 3:!5?

Lil says:

err

Lil says:

as a reminder?

Lil says:

why?

S says:

oh. haha. just wondering

Lil says:

did i put up the wrong verse?

S says:

nono

Lil says:

actually have been pondering upon something

S says:

???

Lil says:

when the holy spirit prompts

Lil says:

how come some people can still go on and ignore the voice?

Lil says:

isn't that self deception?

S says:

or coldness to the HS? numbness?

hardness?

S says:

desire 4 sthing else stronger

Lil says:

yah that's what i thot

Lil says:

it's a very scary thing, come to think about it

S says:

yeah.

Lil says:

heart hardened to a stage that you can't even hear the voice of God

S says:

you know i was just thinking...

Lil says:

yah

S says:

while i dont feel or see myslef sliding away from God... often i think the ONLY way i can get to the end is His grace and His grace alone.

S says:

no way there is strength and heart enough to do it otherwise

S says:

i guess that's biblical huh

S says:

just that i feel it so real. like i'm going strong now.. but... to think of the future, what God's plans and will is... wow.... impossible by me.

Lil says:

what you said is true

Lil says:

I suppose the only thing I can do is to learn to respond to God always

Lil says:

really need humility

Lil says:

 Don't need to wait until it's a "big" or obvious sin to repent

Lil says:

let HS search our heart then we'll realize how many flaws and ugly attitudes there are

S says:

yeah.

S says:

i think the desires for other things are the biggest downfall. even though people might be willing to give it to God. it doesnt go away.

Lil says:

or self-will

S says:

like a thorn in the flesh we just have to struggle wiht

Lil says:

it's always between His way and my way

S says:

yeah.

S says:

but u know what i mean?...

Lil says:

ah!!

Lil says:

yah

S says:

a willing heart will choose His way... but still struggle

S says:

with the desire

Lil says:

i realize something

Lil says:

the reason that we struggle is because

Lil says:

we still operate in our fleshly realm where we see things with our emotions and minds

Lil says:

to trust God requires us to move into the unseen realm

S says:

yeah

Lil says:

it's beyond what our emotions tell us

S says:

yeah... FAITH huh

Lil says:

yah

S says:

true true true

Lil says:

our senses in FAITH need to be different

Lil says:

and Heb 12

Lil says:

all those one who had faith even though they didn't see God's promises come to pass.

Lil says:

because they  saw it happen in their spirit, in their trust in God

Lil says:

even though physically they didn't get to experience it

S says:

yeah

S says:

true.

 

God spoke to me as I opened my eyes this morning. He reminded me of the things He's promised for this year. He reminded me the kind of faith He desires to see in me.

 

I've been caught up with many issues, though I'm supposed to "enjoy" my holidays. It wasn't the food or the shopping that I'd been thinking about, (thanks to the n&v) my mind has been on the ones far away.

 

But God said that His will will come to pass though there have been and will be many STUMBLING BLOCKS.

 

I'm comforted to hear this, that He knows all situations, and to know that I am on the right track.

 

Then I got the sms that said one of the leaders had to go to A&E for test. I prayed and felt the peace of God. I felt that the Lord wanted him to know that He is with him.

 

Then I remembered the dream I had last night. (I did ask God a couple of nights before for Him to speak to me in dreams regarding the situation) In the leaders meeting, the visitor became strange and seemed to turn to be a different person all together. I prayed for this brother. But i still don't know what happened there. I'm concerned. That seems like a warning to me.

I pray I will not be the only one that discerns it if it really happens. Another person in the dream saw that too. I desperately don't want this to happen!!

 

Afterall, I committed the above and all sheep issues to God. Although I'm very concerned, His spirit lifted me up and gave me courage to fight!!

 

 

 

 

 

God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble...that's the probably the first thing we think of when asked God's reaction to pride...

 

Have you come across this in the bible?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pride is not a weakness, but a sin that hurts the very heart of God.........is there anyone that will bother His feeling?

Lord help me to hate and detest my own pride. Let godly sorrow bring repentence.....