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08 dicembre I fear God...." Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart." How did you feel when you first read this verse?
Honestly, I remember feeling uneasy about the verse when I first read it. I felt uneasy because I realized it's more difficult to deal with the heart than the outward appearance. It's so easy and quick to put on make-up, dress up to make one look good. Our ministry, service and work in church is so visible. Yet God counts all of that nothing if I don't have the right heart! "obedience is (indeed) better than sacrifice" to God.
I felt uneasy because I realized that i could not hide my true heart condition from Him. I could cover that up from men and even myself by doing and saying the right things on the outside, but God is interested in what's going on in my heart and mind.
I felt uneasy because I realized too often I look at the "outward" rather than the heart, thus realizing how far I am from godliness.
My heart is a wellspring of life. It can be deceptive. God, help me to guard my heart against any offensive ways. Keep me humble prn (=when required). Let me know what you're thinking. Prompt me by the Holy Spirit immediately whenever I'm about to go off tangent, so that I will never hurt You. I don't want to hurt You God. Isn't that selfishness that I only look for You for comfort yet do not consider how you feel? Isn't that selfishness that I continue sinning because I think I can't help being that way? what about You, God? Will anyone care to consider how you feel?
If not for You grace and enduring love, I would have perished long ago.
You see everything under the sun. It's foolish of me to act as if you didn't know what's going on in my heart. This I believe is the fear of God: to honour You not with the "outward" me, but with the "inner" me.
I love You God. I do love You. Although sometimes I fail to, I do care about how you feel....:) THANKYOU4URGRACE&LOVE
06 dicembre Vision-2007"Where there is no revelation, man will cast off restrained"
God, show me the VISION for 2007, a vision that is
COMPELLING
- so I'm motivated towards its fulfillment
CONVINCING
- to those who hear and that they will see it possible
CONVICTING
- that this is the way to be and worth giving and living one's life for to the extent of sacrificing whatever that's neccessary
* Am I ready for this? Have I sought Him enough? Am I single-minded in seeking Him or distracted by other stuff?
The vision needs to come from God alone. It reflects His heart and mind. It leaves no room for selfishness, half-heartedness or doubt. He's looking for someone to "take hold" of the vision. Will I be the one to respond?
29 novembre Pass or Fail?"No matter how many times you fail, you can always rise again and soar on the wings of an eagle!" This is the assurance God gave me yesterday at the prayer meeting.
I was thinking about the dream I had 2 nights ago, where I found out that I failed my exam. However, in the dream, I was calm and my mind was definitely sound. I'd remembered the decision I made during the seminar to trust God for who He is and have faith in Him, no matter what. In the face of failure, I decided to trust God and move on.
On the night before the result was released, I was prepared for both ways. If I fail, I won't blame myself as I know I'd done my best and that was pleasing to God. If I fail, that just means that God sometimes does allow failure/trials in our life even though we have done no/little wrongs. If I fail, I will still trust Him and rejoice in Him. I will wait in expectation for Him to unfold the mystery.
If I pass, I will thank God for His grace and His faithfulness which are the same grace and faithfulness He demonstrates to me when I fail. I will not rejoice because I've gained what I've been working for over the past 2 years. But I will rejoice and praise Him because He's given me more than what I need.
I want to commit my result totally to God. I didn't have to wait until the result's released to decide on how I should response. I wanted to work out my conviction before I looked at the results. He's more concerned about my faith in Him than my results.
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Looking at the results, I'm humbled by the grace He has for me
Pass or fail? It doesn't really matter. What matters is that I may know You more.
13 novembre I met God in Sydney.I don't want to spend too much time talking about the food and shopping in Sydney, basically it's pretty much like HK.
What I want to talk about was that God touched me.
As I held Tim in my arms, I wondered about God's purpose for this little boy. I wondered about His intentions and what He was trying to do in this family. I wondered how I may respond if i had a son that's born with disability. How would I cope if I don't know if some kind of complications or organ failures may come any time. something interesting about Tim was that during the time I stayed there, he never cried. In fact I'm really "proud" that he liked me. How did I know...he smiled at me everytime I looked at him. Something in me told me that despite his conditions, he's got a great character. Everytime I saw him , I thought of "love"
God's paving the way for the family to encounter and to know Him more. When Wen An gave the altar call on trusting God in crisis. The entire family, mum holding Tim in her arms, Dad holding the elder son all went down. Ps was praying for others and I couldn't see anyone that could pray for them. " Oh God...praying for relatives at altar call...er....never done that before"
I asked them what to pray for. "Pray for Tim", mum said.
As soon as I started praying, I just felt the love of God touching all of us. "Lord, there are things we do not understand, but teach us to rely on you more and trust You more. You love Tim and You said he's fearfully and wonderfully made. You knew him even when he was still in his mother's womb. Lord, help them to see there's no mistake in your plans.....'
during the time I was praying, I felt that Tim was grabbing my finger with his little hand, as if he was saying that he too was praying. I looked at him and he showed me his usual smile...well...we all cried.
I saw something beautiful...I don't know how to explain it....I saw something beyond the physical and visible...I saw the hand of God working in the situation, I saw Him preparing for miracles. I saw all these not with my physical eyes, but with the eyes of my heart.
09 ottobre Self-existing, eternal, alpha and omegaI'm not sure why God spoke to me about this....but the realization of the truth humbled me.
The purpose of me writing it down is to REMIND MYSELF...so if you read it, it's fine...i just pray that you'll be able to grasp the concept too.
Eternal God created man for his intended lifespan. Since God self-exists, that is, He is NOT created. He doesn' t need to be created even though we're used to the idea that everything in the world is created, everything starts from somewhere, sometime.
It is futile to ask the question about who created God or where did God come from. We demand an answer to the question only when we hold on to our current worldview, where we believe that there HAS to be a beginning for everything. Yes, it's true that there's a beginning for everything on earth, BECAUSE God created all. But this doesn't apply to God at all.
What came first? Eternity has ALREADY existed when "time" is formed. God's timeframe, that is eternity is already there before man hooked on to their "beginning to end" concept.
So, what's the answer? Who created God? There's no answer to it because the question itself is invalid.
For example, imagine you're sitting in an exam and you were told by the examiner that you won't need to answer the question because there's mistake in it. Yey! 1 bonus mark!
The TRUTH
GOD is the alpha and omega. He has been there all along. He doesn't need to be created by anyone or anything. (that's what made God GOd), but creativity comes from Him first. Just as He said to Job, "where were you when I created heaven and earth?"
How many times have we missed the truth because we could only accept what our mind can conceive?
How many times have we failed to see who God really is because we're not willing to let go of our own belief of who we think He is?
Let us come with humility, knowing our stand as fallible men before the eternal creator, to recieve His PERFECT, LOVING and ETERNAL TRUTH.
06 ottobre After CGI feel blessed to be part of the cg today.
Ice-breaker
Passing M&M's with a spoon held in our mouth?! Wow..it really tested our patience and persistence, but it was very fun!!
Praise & worship
They are inexperienced. we had a first-time backup singer who is only a few months' old christian, a 2nd or 3rd time musician who didn't have much music background, and a worship leader that dared to be undignified for God. I could see the heart of praise and worship, their boldness and just that simple heart of willingness and availability. I know that God is pleased to hear worship that comes from the hearts of His people. As we sang, "Majesty, Majesty, Your grace has found me just as I am....." I immersed myself in God's sweet presence, surrounded by His grace and love. All I could think of was that I wanted more of Him.
Testimony
Our 2-month old new believer gave her testimony. The delivery wasn't smooth, but what she shared was ....ummm..."convincing, from the heart, simple and SWEET" It was about God answering her "small" prayers like getting the bus to come, holding back the rain so that her clothes could be dry....what touched me the most was that even God did not answer her prayer to stop the rain straight away, as she was worshipping Him in His presence, she decided to ask God again. And God is so sweet that He took care of her and her CLOTHES!! when the rain was pouring while we had our church anniversary last Sat, God kept the little suburb where she stayed "dry".
Bible discussion
There is real power in praising and thanking God! When all of us started to count God's blessing one by one, our perspectives changed, our burdens were lifted, and we became thankful for God. We could start to look into the current challenges or the future with confidence, peace and trust in Him. Sharing to each other about what are the things about THEM that we'd like to thank God for, taught and reminded us to appreciate every single person, to see the strength rather than weakness of the person. It was such a joy to observe different ones share in their small groups.
Someone asked, "how are you?"
One of the younger members gave me a big pat on my back, "hey, haven't talked to you for so long"...we had a good time of catching up. she shared with me her walk with god and I encouraged her. You know what, I was very glad because we could still chat openly despite my position in church. come to think of it, I'm her grandx3 shepherd. Haha, who said that leaders are scary? we are approachable and we want to be approached!
BirthdayS celebration
"signs of old age?" said someone...yes I guess so...as I really forgot that this is now OCT.
What's in our future? Our future is in His Hand
I'm almost certain that the growth of this group will not be smooth-sailing, people are starting to return home, some are still deciding whether to stay or go back, some are still learning in their commitments and priorities, and there are yet areas the leadership can learn to improve and mature. However, our hope is secure in the Lord. What He's started in this group and all the individuals in it, He will COMPLETE it. Ministry is not about having a fully functional, efficient organization, it's about growing, learing, trusting and investing one's life in what God calls "the answer", His CHURCH that contains his manifold wisdom. The realization of such priviledge will transform the way we think and live.
It's only when I learn to put on the heavenly perspectives, to take on the heart of God, and to see things in His light rather than the dullness of my mind, will I experience His joy deep in my heart as I serve Him and His people. A continually renewed passion and purpose in God is what's needed for His ministers.
02 ottobre When I go to heaven...The discussion leader asked what I I will say or do when I see God in heaven.
As I thought about the question, I could feel the emotions welling up in me. What would I say? I tried to imagine myself standing before God...I burst into tears....."I've overcome. I've run so hard and I've finally finished the race. Did You see how hard I tried to hold on to it? Will You say, "Good and faithful servant"? That's all I want to hear."
I pray that I will continue to rely on His grace as only His grace can sustain me.
The race that I'm in is designed for me and me only.
It's not a race for me to win, but it's for me to finish.
Jesus has gone ahead and won the race for me
I just need to follow him and reach where He is.
It's all worth it. He's worthy of it.
Help me to live a life of legacy
to hear You say, "Good and faithful servant" at the end of it.
"....Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me HEAVENWARD in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13-14
You've given me a whole new understanding of what is "HEAVENWARD".... 21 settembre ........There are so many things going on inside of me...it's just hard to explain it all sometimes...i came across this the other day and hopefully that will explain part of how I am feeling.....
"...this is a common situation in most churches some time or another. It is certainly one of the "occupational hazards" of pastoring. I could never protect myself from getting emotionally involved in people's lives. If they rejoiced, then so did I. If they wept, the so did I. They had my heart completely. So, when they exited from my life, they took a piece of my heart with them. It felt as though my heart was being ripped from my chest each time.
Yet, as I would gaze upon Jesus and see how He endured the misunderstanding, betrayal and abandonment of those He loves, I would receive comfort and courage to continue pursuing His purposes for my life..........Yes, He empowered me to love again. Instead of putting up walls of self-protection and preservation, I was able to open my heart again to those He entrusted to me."
Lanora van Arsdall - Breakthrough Anointing.
One more day...yet more to comeI felt that He asked if I was willing to fast to see CHANGE. I said, "Yes" because I was desperate to see things beginning to change, to get better. Also, I wanted a personal breakthrough.
This is the 9th day of my 10 day fast. What have I accomplished? Nothing much measurable. But what's changed is my heart. Over the past few days, I've come to know His presence. My heart had been broken yet His presence sustained me. I know He is transforming me. How do I know that I've changed?
Because now....
My soul and my heart are filled with praise
My eyes don't just see what's seen
The eyes of my heart are open to see Him
I will trust in Him alone
When I look at the mirror, I see weaknesses, problems, and a fallible being.
When I look to Him, away from the above, I'm being transformed to reflect His glory.
I can't get enough of Him
I can't sing enough of praises
I'm hungry, desperate for more of Him
Sing my soul and all that's within me
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....Only God knows....dadadadadada.............
SIng my soul of the Saviour's love
Sing my soul unto God alone.......lalalala.....dididar..........
But that's not it....my God is able to do more....expect great things from the great GOD!!
13 settembre Grace AmazingHow can I complain about these situations any more? How can I lose courage and faith just when I think it’s too difficult? Didn’t Jesus suffer the worst of all? Wasn’t Paul tormented again and again? What about the martyrs?
What they went through were no fictions! They are facts, reality! Their sufferings must be real. The pain pierced their hearts and souls. When I see them as reality, as real people going through real sufferings, when I place my situations in light of all these, to say, “they could handle this because they were strong” is simply excuse for me to point the finger at something or someone else.
I’ve come to understand that …
It is by His GRACE that I can bear these trials and sufferings By His GRACE, He makes sure I can always stand up under pressure Because of His GRACE, He cares to consider my weaknesses and limitations So that what has come is bearable Because of His GRACE, He never gives up on me even when I fail Amazing GRACE, only from my Creator, Father, King and Lord! It’s not about me It’s all about Him
Heb 12:4 -6 “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Lord I live for You To honour You with all I am Jesus, the Breaker of Anointing, Lead me to the Cross Of obedience, resurrection and power
10 settembre Enlarge my heart.What does it mean to "enlarge my heart"?
1. To enlarge the extent to which God will work in my life.
I read this that basically explains what I mean here... " To the degree that you are willing to give up your will, your way, your words, your walk, your worship and your warfare - to that dgree will you find the will of God for your life." Dr Fuchsia Pickett 2. To enlarge my heart capacity to contain His ways.
3. To enlarge my emotional capacity.
new....keep learning, keep expanding and keep on loving!
31 agosto How to handle rejection?Wah...I couldn't believe what just happened. I'm AMUSED!
"Have you got the tiles?" the tiler asked. "Yes" I replied.
"What about the grout?" he asked. "No, I don't. Do you have it?" I asked him.
"That's the case. Find someone else to do it."......."deeeeeeeeeeee" He hung up just like that??
I put down the phone, stunned! What happened? What did I do? I am a consumer looking for services. And this guy is so rude!!
I looked up....WA just laughed.....me? I don't know to laugh or to cry...
I was shocked because I haven't met rude people like this one for a long long time. I wasn't angry...but I was more curious to find out why he could be so unreasonable.
Oh well, what an experience..the bright side:rejection once in a while toughens me. It assures my security in the ALMIGHTY GOD!
"If He is for me then who can be against me" AMEN AMEN!
errr....that means we gotta find someone else to lay the tiles....o help me God! 26 agosto K.P. YohananI wanted to open up my heart to hear what God had to say through the president of Gospel for Asia. The Holy Spirit quickened my heart when I heard him say ...
"Our greatest enemy is self-centredness.."
" You need to hate yourself in order to love God.."
"Let our heart break with the things that break God's heart.."
"think in light of eternity...it's worth it"
"Draw close to God, hear His voice and all these will be a joy, not a burden.."
It's very challenging to deny oneself to follow Christ...yet K.P.'s done it. Christ died so that we may have life. Am I to die to myself (all that I want for myself) so that more will know God?
Materialism constantly holds us back. Self-centredness rationalises our unwillingness. Earthly vision generates earthly priorities. Only an eternal perspective aligns oneself with the will of God.
What was it like to give up one's possession for the sake of souls. One thing i could see: he had no regrets.
May I never forget the passion for people. May I never forget what's really on His heart. Hell is a reality...
It was a timely wake up call
It's time for me to evaluate my life to see if all still align with eternity. Take away the unneccessary and add in the real stuff.
21 agosto Amazing love
How can it be that You my King would die for me?
Amazing love
I know it's true
It's my joy to honour You
In all I do I honour You
Lord, I want nothing but You. I want to soak in your presence. Help me with my lack of faith...speak to me with Your rhema word. I'm tired of doing the living. I'm tired of operating by the brain. I want Your Spirit...
A broken spirit and a contrite heart
You would not despise
You desire truth in my inward part
A broken spirit and a contrite heart
Lord my heart is prone to wonder
prone to leave the One I love
Here's my heart
Lord take it and seal it
Use it for the things above
24 luglio One stone kills 2 birds!!Meant to write this down for a long time........
Driving along Coronation Dr from work, my head started to throb again. I've been having this sort of headache for sometime and working in the medical field, among all the sick people, a paranoid thought came to my mind, "Brain Tumor??"
What if i had brain tumor? How would I respond? HOw would the people respond?
OK, it's time for HS to speak.
"When you're willing to die for your friend, you'll experience the freedom". What Ps said at the conference resonated in my heart. I'm not sure if I have carried too much burden, seeing what different ones are going through. I wish if I could, I'd rather be the one to substitute.
I know tirials and sufferings strengthen my characters, build my faith and help me know Him more. But that was all about me. Since I'm going to heaven anyway (thank God for the GIFT) I don't want it to be all about myself. God, can you make sure that whenever I need to go through trials or sufferings, they are not only for my sake? But also for the people I care, so that through those trials and sufferings, they may see Your faithfulness, know that You're worthy, and be inspired to soar higher for You!
No wonder it is more blessed to give than to receive. I experienced 'freedom'. I finally understood the power of self-sacrifice that motivated My Saviour to die on the cross for my sins. One died so the rest may have life. 13 luglio Daddy's GirlI'm Daddy's girl
I'll sit on His lap and tell Him everything.
I'll tell Him exactly how I feel, both good and bad, achievements and failures, joy and frustrations.
Daddy is best at listening.
He smiles and He nods as I babble on.
It does feel silly at times to tell Him things He already knew.
Yet this I know, that He LOVES it.
Daddy speaks few words, but each word He speaks can calm the raging seas.
All His words are timely, showing His deepest thoughts and wisdom.
Daddy is strong, BIG in fact.
Sitting on His lap, leaning on His broad shoulders; this is the safest place to be.
I will not fall because He carries me.
Daddy is a loving discipline master.
His gentle rebuke puts me back on the right track.
At the end of His correction, I can still smile and be assured of His love.
"alright Daddy, I will change for You. You're gonna help me, won't You?!"
Daddy cried.
I turned my eyes to where He was looking and saw my brothers and sisters.
I didn't know why they were doing what they were doing.
Were they lost? Were they harming themselves? Did they want to come and sit on Daddy's lap?
Daddy said, "Go and bring them back"
I cried because Daddy cried.
Daddy grieved.
I turned my eyes again to where He was looking and saw more of my brothers and sisters.
They'd left Daddy and gone on their own ways.
They seemed to be confident in what they were doing by themselves. Had they found something better?
They turned and looked at us but they didn't recognise us.
Daddy said, "I'm waiting for them to come back."
I cried because Daddy grieved
I don't know what will happen to them but Daddy knows.
Daddy seemed to know my worries.
He turned and looked at me. He said, "It will be fine. Trust Me."
I smiled and I said to Him, "Daddy, I'm on Your side."
HOLYHow many roads did i travel before I walkd down the one that led me to You? How many dreams did unravel before i believed in a hope that was true? How long? How far? What was meant to fulfill only emptied me still And all you ever wanted... only me on my knees singing holy, holy and somehow all that matters now is you are holy, holy How many deaths did I die before i was awakened to new life again? How many half-truths did i bear witness to, til the proof was disproved in the end? How long? How far? What was meant to illuminate, shadowed me still And all you ever wanted...... and all i have is gratitude to offer You. 24 giugno ElijahHis name is Elijah. He was born premature at 26 weeks, weighing less than 700g.
Been kept in the incubator for 5 months, gone in and out of the isolation room twice due to a resistant bug, been through laser surgery to correct problems of retina. And on top of all these, he had never been able to breath by his own underdeveloped lung.
Among all the 20 patients in babies intensive care, Elijah caught my attention, not because of his illness (it's ICU remember, who is not "sick"), but it was the piece of paper hung on the ventilator saying, " Our trust is in God". Wow! Did his parents put it there? But you know, a biblical claim like this in a hospital, among the well educated doctors and nurses whose names are followed by numerous titles did not add assurance, but received sarcasm and disbelief. His parents' devotion and trust in God was often brought up for discussion at the ward round to show how "little" the parents were doing by offering prayer alone. I was there, telling God, " God, show them your power. Humble them".
What happened to Elijah? He went to a normal ward, went home after 5 months with oxygen therapy!
There's more to it.
I was surprised to see Elijah appearing at the children's intensive care. O no, he's back!! Again, he was intubated. Apparently the oxygen therapy failed and he came to emergency with respiratory failure.
OK..now what? Will he be the hot topic again in the ward round? You bet!
registrar: " his oxygen has been very low. His lung is not working"
consultant: "Did his mum come in to see him?"
social worker: "mum's got the flu so she can't come in. I spoke to her on the phone and she said she's receiving lots of support from her church."
consultant: "hmmmmmm......well, looks like that's it for him. His lung is going to fail. He's going to die." (yah..doctors are pretty blunt when the patients or relatives are not around!)
nurse: " but Elijah DIDN"T look sick at all! It's so strange!"
pharmacist (that's me, thinking): Wow! Praise God!! God made him well despite the diagnosis! Even the most high-tech equipment gave a wrong report"
Elijah was transferred back to the normal ward with a " no resusitation" order if his lung fails him again. Doctors all decided that no more ICU measure could help him anymore. (haha, that just means that his life is completely in God's hands).
Today, I overheard another pharmacist saying that Elijah is going home. He is well. His lung is fine.
Yey, God showed His power. Contrary to everyone's prediction (except Elijah's parents), Elijah lived!!!
18 giugno Say "I love U"?I was reading 1 and 2 Samuel and this question came across my mind, " How come I haven't read any of those great heroes, prophets and kings saying "I love You" to God?" How often can I find this phrase "i LOVE yOU" in the bible?
This morning, I decided to do a search on the bible software. ( Only "i love you" said by fallible human count...I'm not going to count those said by our God or Jesus...:P and guess what? I found ONE "I love the Lord" from King David. For " i love you", Peter responded to Jesus with that...but that was a reply to Jesus' question, he didn't initiate that. And another one was said "strategically" by the woman that wanted to know the secret of Samson's great strength...and ONE final one again by King David.
I was taught that when I study the bible, I should ask "why does the Holy Spirit choose to have this written but not the others?" So why weren't there more " I love U"s recorded? I have even said more "i love you, God" in the past month than what can be found in the bible!...(if not said, it is at least sung?)
I've come to such a conclusion (mind you, this is a personal opinion, i'm not trying to stir up some theological or doctrinal issues here...) Jesus said, "if you love me, you'll obey what I've commanded.." and " faith is dead without deeds." Holy spirit searches my heart and is looking for the true obedience demonstrated by persistant actions. I'm sure God is pleased when I tell Him that I love Him (who isn't?), but He must be thinking..."hmmm ok...if she really loves Me, see if she'll do this or change that for Me?"
Haha, what a wonderful God that I serve...I love U Lord (followed by ..." tell me what You want me to do?")
12 giugno set apart"be set apart for the Lord for He is your inheritance..."
Lord, give me a faithful and pure heart unto You. Help me to be contented in You. All my plans and hopes I commit and submit them under your will. I ask for wisdom and right motive so that all that I do and can be is pleasing to you. |
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