Apart from the physical changes of pregnancy, I'm slowly experiencing more and more of the inner changes God is doing in my life right now during pregnancy. I've come to realize there's so much depth in my feelings, understanding and comprehension of the process and also, the aspect of God the creator.

 

Sacrficial and unconditional love

There's a ever deepening bond between the baby and I. The joy and anticipation of a new life cover all limitations and sufferings brought by pregnancy. I didn't think I was a baby person, well at least i was rarely eager to hold a baby. But now I just feel so ready to nurse and care for the unborn child. I understand how God feels now, His love for His creation. His love is sacrificial and unconditional, and is so strong that covers all limitations, pain and even sin.

 

Hearing His voice in the midst of others

I've heard many horror stories about pregnancy e.g. miscarriage, stillbirths etc,  and comments which I believed where said with good intentions. These are some of them: " you need to gain more weight. Are you eating?"  (of course I am, I'm trying to gain weight) " You need to take at least 6 months off after giving birth. It's good for the baby." (our circumstances are different) "hmmm...let me give an educational guess...it's 75% girl (it's still a guess, isn't it..btw..I don't mind whether it's a boy or girl. The baby is a gift from the Lord and I gladly receive it).  All these comments seem to be contrary to what I believe of what God's spoken to me.  And it's just interesting of how God has allowed all these comments to come in the midst of His voice.  But deep in my heart, I know that I can trust Him for whatever will happen. He's already asked me to give my life to serving Him as He takes care of the day to day matters. I have a strong sense that I will hear more of such comments and even be in situations that don't seem to work, but He's given me the assurance that what He will do is far greater that what I can see now.

 

 

 

 

 

God, You know me intimately. You know every thoughts that are in my mind. Thoughts that I didn't dare to say it out as prayers to You, but You answered all of them with such gentleness and assurance.

 

I questioned myself in my intention to love and care for people, You assured me by saying, "you care so much for others..."

I questioned myself of setting too high a standard, You assured me by saying, " you'll be a strong moral centre"

I questioned myself in whether I had the shepherd's heart, You assured me by saying, "the heart of shepherdress shall grow and grow and grow within you." 

I questioned whether we can make it when the little one comes, You said, " don't worry about the day to day stuff, the circumstance. God will take care of all of that."